things are just stupid right now. i hate the fucking holidays. and my cat really is lost to me, for good. i know i have been on about this before and i suppose you are all completely sick of hearing about it, but i just received some new news... and of course it isn't good news. he has another health issue. it is something that cats do NOT tend to do well with, and for chryssakes he is 19! i have to face that there really is NO WAY i am ever going to be with him again, except for the occasional brief visit in the ex's living room.
admittedly, they are friendly to me and they do tolerate my coming around, but FUCK it's just not the same and it is juast never going to happen for me agian.
and please do not tell me to get another cat. i do live with a cat now, Jovino's cat, who is utterly sweet and sits on my lap etc buit it is JUST NOT THE SAME, OK!
oh yeah and what right do i even have to feel like this, it isn't like the fucking love of my life was found frozen to death yesterday!