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My Big Fat Gay Wedding - adventures of a red-headed stepchild in the house of love — LiveJournal
mermaid on the mic
My Big Fat Gay Wedding
so, back in the '80s, I met this amazing guy.  we moved in together, and eventually got married.  

no, he wasn't gay, although I did have a (still much beloved) gay bf, before that.  we were married for 14 years, and together for a few years before.  eventually we grew apart and decided to go our separate ways.  (awesomely, we're still friends!)

after this experience, I decided that I was too modern (or something) for the concept of marriage.  nobody owns me!  it's not necessary!  etc.

a few years later came the Valentine's Day weddings of the same sex couples in SF.  I think it is ridiculously obvious that everyone should have equal rights (I support gays in the military too, even though I myself would never join) so of course I was totally supportive and thrilled!  (the link is to a photo gallery I shot of some of the happy couples on the steps of city hall on that amazing day in 2004.)  going back through it has brought tears to my eyes.  we WILL nail this!

anyway, the equality angle got me really thinking in a serious way about the whole concept of marriage and what it all meant, and eventually I gained new perspectives on why anyone would want to get married in the first place.

and now, I am getting married, to my beloved partner Jovino.

why?  in some significant part, it is because of the struggle for same-sex marriage.

so, don't you try to tell ME that same-sex marriage is in any way detrimental or deleterious to opposite-sex marriage!  (I suppose I ought to disclose here that I'm actually bi, although it hardly matters.  these days, I'm a one-man woman. yeah, I know, whoda thunk it?)

I also want to say that I do feel guilt for doing this while the struggle for marriage equality continues.  all I can say is that I will continue to fight and that I know we will win this one.

I hope you are warm and dry!


- M

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6 smooches or Gimme Some Love!
expanding_x_man From: expanding_x_man Date: December 6th, 2010 11:44 am (UTC) (Link)
That's an interesting story about how gay marriage made you think about and then, realize the importance and specialness of well, being married! I think it can have that effect on many people in het relationships, which is ironic. And, if it does have that effect, it can help make marriage stronger in general, which is not what some conservatives are thinking will happen. Who knew? But, you know, it makes sense seeing people so happy to get married would have that effect -- if you think about it.

Congrats again on your impending marriage! You guys seem like a great match!

avocado_tom From: avocado_tom Date: December 6th, 2010 06:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
Love this post. Well done...I look forward to hearing about the joyous nuptials and all the fun times had. Perhaps with a set-list from the event included. ;)
evilmommytina From: evilmommytina Date: December 6th, 2010 09:30 pm (UTC) (Link)

from a big gay dyke who wants to marry...

You don't owe anyone an explanation that you are an advocate honey. We KNOW you are. We, as friends, also want for your joy and happiness and would not dream of degrudging you the right to marry now... because that is not fair either.

Marry - love - be happy... and someday I shall too. Meantime, I am as married as could be - legal or not.

Hugs, Tina
idiva From: idiva Date: December 7th, 2010 04:14 am (UTC) (Link)
Guilt isn't necessary (and isn't a useful emotion anyhow...).

This bi-dyke is totally sure that straight marriage doesn't affect my queer one :-)

Love you!
selkit From: selkit Date: December 8th, 2010 08:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
Amen, M. I'm really, really glad for you and Jovino -- you two will do awesome together!
veleda From: veleda Date: December 9th, 2010 04:37 pm (UTC) (Link)
Congratz on getting married to your partner. Yay to see you both happy!
6 smooches or Gimme Some Love!