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never thought I'd feel this way and I gotta say that I Just Don't Get It - adventures of a red-headed stepchild in the house of love — LiveJournal
mermaid on the mic
never thought I'd feel this way and I gotta say that I Just Don't Get It
"...and I will never be set free as long as I'm a ghost that you can't see" - If You Could Read My Mind (believe it or not, this disco classic was originally written by Gordon Lightfoot!)

anyway. obviously NO ONE can read my mind. people can't even read my twitter feed and understand what I'm on about!

so, you know that tattoo I got right after wondercon? it's still itchy and healing. so. when you're healing a tattoo you can't wear anything too tight over it. this means I have been spending even more time than usual in my jammiez and as comfy as they are, I'm getting kinda sick of not having many options. I've twittered a few times about the tattoo, and yesterday I bitched about not having a choice of what to wear, saying "I don't know how u pregnant chicks can stand it for 9 months" and BAMMO EVERYONE THINKS I AM PREG. which I did NOT SAY. I said "U PREGNANT CHICKS" - ie, U - NOT ME. but people are so baby-happy that they are all freaking out about how awesome it is.

and it is pushing my last button. people are all congratulating me and shit. I AM NOT PREGNANT - AND, IT WOULD NOT BE A GOOD THING IF I WAS! for fuck's sake, I am starting a BUSINESS!

ugh. I know they are trying to be nice, but OMG PLEASE, I am HORRIFIED! by the thought! there is more to life than reproducing!!!!!

no offense to parents or anyone, i am talking about ME here and I am having a big ol' fucking SQUICK over this so please just skip over it if you don't like what I said or how I said it, ok? thanks, I REALLY appreciate it. this is actually freaking me out a lot more than it should.

ok, gotta get off the computer and do something productive.

Tags: , , , , , ,
I'm feeling: nauseated nauseated
I'm hearing: the lovely Viola Wells - If you could read my mind

14 smooches or Gimme Some Love!
mamacrunchy From: mamacrunchy Date: March 15th, 2009 09:40 pm (UTC) (Link)

it'll blow over

Yep, trust me, lately i've gotten intimately aware of how much everyone likes to be up in your business. It'll blow over sweetie. As someone who has several tattoos, may I suggest Kukui Nut oil (in the states you can get it at Whole Foods), or the purer form can be found around that's called Oils Of Aloha.

I first used it when I got my first traditional tapped tattoo...and it's the most incredible stuff. At Twigsville I had a 1 week old tattoo on my back, and the ladies of my cabin were nice enough to rub the oil into it, and it really helped to keep the itching down.

Love to you...and at least feel good that you have friends that care..even when they're a little misguided in their interest
catwoman69y2k.insanejournal.com From: catwoman69y2k.insanejournal.com Date: March 15th, 2009 09:46 pm (UTC) (Link)
Twitter is a funny thing. You can learn so much by watching someone's account even with the 140 character limit. However it also leaves room for misinterpretation by those that know you less. This tattoo thing is such an example.

While Im not squicked by the thought of a pregnant me, I am disturbed by the few men I have known in my life who really thought my wide hips were excellent for that sort of thing. Jumping to a conclusion over a tweet or statement that seemed to allude to the possibility of pregnancy (such as "oh, my period is late.") is one thing, but having a lover tell me over and over about how it would be if I became a mother is a squicky thought.


luffing From: luffing Date: March 15th, 2009 10:07 pm (UTC) (Link)

Here, I'll use my childfree icon.

Yuck! I'm not surprised, although I'm sorry you had to come up against the Baby Rabies in action.... many people have baby rabies-- if not directly for themselves due to already having one/some, for OTHERS. And even if folks have gone on the record as being not interested in breeding, I think there's a big societal expectation of "Oh, you'll hit ___ age and change your mind." They pretty much expect everyone to turn into breeders like themselves, because That's What You Do.

Don't get me started on my theory that some parents end up miserable and regretting they had kids Because That's What You Do, and secretly want others to end up in the same misery boat (and/or so they can do playdates or share secrets for getting baby vomit/piss/shit out of the carpet). (Of course, some people REALLY want kids too, I'm not talking about those people...I'm talking about the people who just sort of fall into it.

These are just my (rabidly childfree, extreme position, Voluntary Human Extinction Movement member) thoughts...heh.
svashtar From: svashtar Date: March 15th, 2009 10:35 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Here, I'll use my childfree icon.

Yeah, try getting a tubal ligation before you hit 25. I had to go psycho on the doctor and say "I'll kill the kid and then myself if I got pregnant. it's a fucking parasite."

And you know, I have never once had a change of heart, and definitely at the age when having a kid means Downs Syndrome.
luffing From: luffing Date: March 15th, 2009 10:45 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Here, I'll use my childfree icon.

I got my tubal ligation + endometrial ablation when I was 24, but then again I knew the doctor (college buddy of my then-boyfriend)...otherwise, yeah, I'm sure it wouldn't have happened.

Best. Decision. Ever.

Congrats on yours!
djmermaid From: djmermaid Date: March 15th, 2009 11:10 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Here, I'll use my childfree icon.

I wouldn't be so sure it wouldn't have happened - you might have had to stamp your foot and threaten to go out-of-network like I did, but I'm sure you would have succeeded. you were as determined as I was!

BTW how did the endo ablation go? that sounded mad scary to me, but I have thought about it from time to time when the red tide is making me crazy...
luffing From: luffing Date: March 15th, 2009 11:23 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Here, I'll use my childfree icon.

The endometrial ablation is SO AWESOME. They did it at the same time I had the tubal (i.e. while I was under general anaesthetic), and I never had ANY issues/problems with it. Any pain I might have had, was just rolled into the slight pain from the tubal and was managed by Percocet.

It's been a few years now, and I've never had even the hint of a period. I still get a bit crampy/cranky some months when I SHOULD be bleeding, but very slight. It's the best thing ever, because I HATE periods. I would still be on birth control just to get rid of my periods, if not for the endometrial ablation. WIN.

They did mine with the Novasure method (newer/more effective than stuff previously on the market). HIGHLY recommended!!
djmermaid From: djmermaid Date: March 15th, 2009 11:08 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Here, I'll use my childfree icon.

ME TOO. I got mine back in the '90s and it was the best 5 bucks (my kaiser co-pay) I ever spent. oh and in case I wasn't clear, I was in my 20s then. I had to insist, but they did do it.

Edited at 2009-03-15 11:10 pm (UTC)
From: constructchris Date: March 15th, 2009 10:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
omg do you know if its going to be a boy or a girl yet?
lokiz_mom From: lokiz_mom Date: March 16th, 2009 01:23 am (UTC) (Link)
lokiz_mom From: lokiz_mom Date: March 16th, 2009 01:26 am (UTC) (Link)
when i saw that tweet i had to laugh. i thought "oh my ghod she's gonna get some comments about being PG". i knew the way you wrote it that you weren't (eventhough i dont really know you quite yet...i kinda figured). too much stress getting the business going and then adding a child to the mix?@!?!?! EEP! no way.

OH BTW...i had meant to ask you about bats day. it's happening in anaheim on the first weekend of may, and i thought maybe some of your stuff would sell down there? i dont know if the jammiez would sell, but you could ask Noah (he's the one who puts it all together every year). i hope you'll check it out. if not for this year...maybe for next?

and when are we gonna get pix of the new tat?!
From: clynne Date: March 17th, 2009 04:42 pm (UTC) (Link)
M, if you wanna sell at Batsday, talk to Isa, she sold there last year. Noah's a friend of mine, I can put you in touch with him, too, if you need. Andrew/Angelus works the event most years, too, and can probably give you some tips.

I don't think the jammies would be big, but if you have neko stuff, there's probably a market for that in the community.
peterfuhry From: peterfuhry Date: March 16th, 2009 01:53 am (UTC) (Link)
I loved your post and I'm sorry you were made to feel uncomfortable. As someone who was intentionally not a dad for a long time and then became one, I remember feeling as many of you do. I do think that the pregnancy congratulations is at least partially a tradition that is really meant to help ease the freaked-out-ness of it all. When I found out I was going to have a kid, I was pretty freaked out, and scared, and it was kind of nice to hear 'That's great!' from folks that were going through it.

Also, I apologize on behalf of parents everywhere for seeming a bit eager to draw others into our ranks. I will say that when I became a parent, it became a lot harder to relate to my non-parent friends, which was a little painful. but then it became much easier to relate to my parent friends. It's not so much that we care more about how to clean up vomit - it's just that our lives and priorities are much, much different. It really is like going to the dark side, or at least the other side, and there are an awful lot of boring, fearful folks over here. So it can be like a good friend moving to your town.

There are really awesome things about being a parent... And I don't regret it overall, but there are things that I really, really miss about being childless - things I will never, ever get back. So no, I would never urge anyone to make that decision lightly.

djmermaid From: djmermaid Date: March 16th, 2009 02:53 am (UTC) (Link)
yeah, I actually kinda feel like I got a taste of the best of both worlds when I was growing up as the oldest of 4 - at the time, I resented the HELL out of being constantly pressed into nanny duty, but I also learned a lot from all that (it's WHY I even have ANY IDEA that preg women are uncomfortable in their clothes in the FIRST PLACE!) and I'm really glad to have had that education without
actually having to have kids myself.

thank you for your thoughtful comment!
14 smooches or Gimme Some Love!