December 5th, 2010


My Big Fat Gay Wedding

so, back in the '80s, I met this amazing guy.  we moved in together, and eventually got married.  

no, he wasn't gay, although I did have a (still much beloved) gay bf, before that.  we were married for 14 years, and together for a few years before.  eventually we grew apart and decided to go our separate ways.  (awesomely, we're still friends!)

after this experience, I decided that I was too modern (or something) for the concept of marriage.  nobody owns me!  it's not necessary!  etc.

a few years later came the Valentine's Day weddings of the same sex couples in SF.  I think it is ridiculously obvious that everyone should have equal rights (I support gays in the military too, even though I myself would never join) so of course I was totally supportive and thrilled!  (the link is to a photo gallery I shot of some of the happy couples on the steps of city hall on that amazing day in 2004.)  going back through it has brought tears to my eyes.  we WILL nail this!

anyway, the equality angle got me really thinking in a serious way about the whole concept of marriage and what it all meant, and eventually I gained new perspectives on why anyone would want to get married in the first place.

and now, I am getting married, to my beloved partner Jovino.

why?  in some significant part, it is because of the struggle for same-sex marriage.

so, don't you try to tell ME that same-sex marriage is in any way detrimental or deleterious to opposite-sex marriage!  (I suppose I ought to disclose here that I'm actually bi, although it hardly matters.  these days, I'm a one-man woman. yeah, I know, whoda thunk it?)

I also want to say that I do feel guilt for doing this while the struggle for marriage equality continues.  all I can say is that I will continue to fight and that I know we will win this one.

I hope you are warm and dry!


- M