September 8th, 2005


Back to Life, Back to Reality, Back to the Here and Now

So, I'm back from the Playa. A lot has happened, especially if you consider how long it has been since I made a real entry.

I kinda don't know what to say here... for the record, I am sorry to say that the BF and I split up about a week before burning man.

Almost everyone I talked to about it out there knew already, and apparently people have been asking the (ex) BF about it, but nobody has asked me. No idea why, and it sort of bugs me. Am I so hard to talk to? Do they not like me or care about what I think? Do they just think I'm a bitch? I don't know. A couple of people have even asked Jovino, which I think is inappropriate, and not a little uncool. It has nothing to do with him. Ask me already!


Anyway. It was not an easy decision. I agonized over it for months, but I know it was the right thing. ExBF tells me he has been telling people who've asked him about it that we both just lost patience with each other, and I suppose that's as good a response as any.

There were a few awkward moments, but overall we are dealing well with it and with each other, and we are already being able to be friends to one another, in a way that we hadn't been able to be in some time. I'm sure in time he will find someone better suited to be his partner. I am doing my best to be supportive and friendly in the meantime - encouraging him to keep school his top priority, giving him time to get moved out, and just helping in any way I can. It's sad, but it is also the right thing.

I somehow managed to jack up my neck sleeping on the air mattress, and (with the help of some ow-be-gones) slept through burn night, and left the playa Sunday evening. I'm still stiff and sore as hell. It does seem to be getting a bit better, and I have been sleeping a LOT, drinking water, and taking advil and muscle relaxing meds received on a visit to kaiser. I feel old. It's making me grumpy, off and on. Jovino has been totally sweet about pampering me, which helps.

I've also been doing research, trying to find a new career direction. Lots of change in the wind.

That's all I have the energy for, right now. More later.