March 10th, 2004


There's nothing like a little dose of Perspective...

So much for all the "Oh poor me, I can't go to Burning Man" snivelling! I am back to being my usual upbeat self again (I'm sure you are all terribly relieved.)

So Monday ended with laundry and dinner with the BF. We went home and watched Princess Bride en Espan~ol (to help him practice his Spanish comprehension) and then snuggled up and went to sleep.

Tuesday morning I woke up and had a lovely cuddle with BF... I felt really silly to have been fretting over Burning Man the previous day. Where we are, I'm happy.

I had the priveledge and the pleasure of going into the city to stand up and witness the marriage of my friends Becca and Stephanie. I was so pleased and proud to be a part of it! There were a number of couples there getting married and joy was in the air. After doing paperwork and paying fees, we were waiting our turn at the rotunda, when people with a big basket of flowers arrived and offered them a bouquet - paid for by some kind stranger from somewhere. I had heard about this and was delighted to find that it is still happening. Yay Love!!!

Becca and Stephanie picked out a pretty bouquet, and then it was their turn. The ceremony was very sweet and I took pictures and then signed the official document. I was very proud to be there supporting my friends and pleased to be a part of their wedding, and a small part of this historic (and inevitable) moment. Every day there is new news: NY state will recognize ALL marriages from other states and Canada; weddings will begin in Oregon soon, and on and on. There is an LJ community called gaymarriage for those interested in keeping up with this growing and joyous movement.

Kitty (whipsnkisses) was at City Hall, totally coincidentally, to cheer on newlyweds on her lunch break, so I introduced her around and we chatted a bit, until it was time for us to go. Now there are religious protesters outside, frowning and trying to push their flyers on everyone. Some dude was even ranting through a bullhorn. Sad, and so different from the festive atmosphere when I was there before, with everyone being there to be positive and encouraging. Obviously they are from outta town... considering how long it took them to get it together and go there. We just ignored them, though when one said "God loves you anyway" as we were leaving I did turn around and say "You got that right!" Sometimes even idiots speak the truth.

I got some nice photos of the ceremony and managed not to cry, though I did get misty eyed. Mare was there... I swear she goes to more weddings than I do. She told me funny stories about visiting Peters relatives in Chicago - I could totally sympathize. Frank and Marilyn came too, and the other witness, a very nice man named John. I was really glad I went, and so proud of San Francisco! I may live in Oakland but I am still part of San Francisco too.

City Hall is so beautiful (it should be, the renovation of this historic building cost a fortune, and not a small one either.) I'm glad they did it right, it is a glorious building and a lovely setting for these weddings. In the rotunda there is a carved stone panel from when City Hall was built in 1912 which reads: "San Francisco - O Glorious City Of Our Hearts That Hast Been Tested And Not Found Wanting, Go Thou With Like Spirit To Make The Future Thine" - how completely perfect!

It's interesting... all the people who are offended by the concept of same sex marriage seem to be coming from a religious perspective - but really, how does it harm them? Nobody is trying to force them to do it in their churches. And the "separation of church and state" would seem to completely invalidate their arguments as far as the rule of law is concerned.

They think this is somehow harming marriage. I can't see how. My friends, who have been together 7 years already and own property together are not "undermining the institution of marriage". They just want legal recognition of the fact that they are a family, and the rights (such as hospital visitation etc) that go along with that. And why shouldn't they have that?

If anything, it is strengthening the institution of marriage. I personally had very little faith in the concept of marriage when mine went bad... I was certainly glad I could get out of it, and (since I never plan to have children) saw no reason to ever marry again. I used to say "I don't really believe in the concept of marriage" and so forth. God knows, all I need is another man feeling entitled to tell me what to do! (Not that that was *because* of being married... but it didn't help things any.)

However, since the same sex weddings started happening and so many people have been talking and thinking about marriage and what it really means, I have given it much more thought than ever before, and this has completely changed my perspective. Now I see the value of marriage. And of course it is what you make of it. So now I do believe in the concept of marriage - and I can't even rule it out for myself any longer, because I have a much more clear concept of what it is and what it means.

I'm not the only one - I've talked with other people my age who'd previously thought marriage was meaningless or outdated who've changed their minds upon really thinking about all this, because of the national debate on marriage.

On my way home, I stopped by the SF Main Library and saw the Reversing Vandalism art show - it's really a strong and intense show. I was pleased to see amelitatwinstar's beautiful work, by the stairs to the Children's section. Also saw Kitty's two pieces - both very cool, beautiful and heartfelt - and one by Carol Queen. Carol got a book that had nothing to do with LGBT anything, but the author was named John Gay. She wrote "DUUUUUUUH" under the name, and added some other writings. It was an impressive show, with many amazing pieces, and a huge variety of styles and ideas. See it if you can - it's free to get into the library, and a very worthwhile experience. I'd have liked to spend more time there but as it was I'd been in the city for some time and I needed to get back. (Also my feet were killing me.)

Then when I got out of BART I stopped to grab some cold beer, and the dude working in the liquor store kept asking me for my phone number. It was sorta funny, it reminded me of the dumbass come-ons I sometimes get on tribe, but "IRL". I first laughed (like "oh you can't be serious") and then said no two or three times, but he kept asking me. Finally he said "oh you must already have a boyfriend" and I said "as a matter of fact, I do" (we're poly but of course this dude doesn't know that and why the hell should I tell him that? At that point I just wanted to get away) and he said "well if I call and he answers I'll just say I'm looking for Domino's Pizza." Yeesh!

Later last night we went into the city for Benjy's birthday at the Noedo (L'Odeon) and enjoyed hanging out and seeing peeps. All in all, a good day. And no more gloomy M!
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