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wish I had a river I could skate away on - adventures of a red-headed stepchild in the house of love
mermaid on the mic
wish I had a river I could skate away on
oh god, it's 12/12 again. I did pretty well for most of the day, but there's just no getting past the knowing that this was the day Allison died. it didn't help that when I posted about this elsewhere, someone saw fit to msg me offlist to tell me that "people" still think it was intentional. maybe they know better than the coroner, maybe not. *I* don't think she'd have done it purposefully without leaving a note. but the point is that none of us are ever gonna know. no one can claim some sort of window into knowing for sure. and it's really hurtful to keep hearing about it!

why does december have to suck so bad? I started off with a good attitude, really I did. we haven't put up our "tree" yet and personally I just don't really feel like bothering with it... although, it's also kinda even worse without it. I don't know. I miss it, but I don't know if I can do it.

Tags: , ,
I'm feeling: crushed forlorn

9 smooches or Gimme Some Love!
(Deleted comment)
djmermaid From: djmermaid Date: December 13th, 2008 09:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
thank you, much appreciated.
cherryterror From: cherryterror Date: December 13th, 2008 07:03 am (UTC) (Link)

Rough day

Sorry this month has been so rough. It will be better in the new year. Big hug.
djmermaid From: djmermaid Date: December 13th, 2008 09:32 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Rough day

thank you. big hug back! looking forward to your show.
idiva From: idiva Date: December 13th, 2008 03:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
oh sweetie pie, i'm so sorry it sucks.
djmermaid From: djmermaid Date: December 13th, 2008 09:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
thanks, hugs right back. looking forward to seeing you two @ twigs!
evilmommytina From: evilmommytina Date: December 13th, 2008 05:54 pm (UTC) (Link)

Hey darlin...

* put up your tree
* love yourself
* set aside time to remember her in a joyful place


She would have insisted on it that way.


djmermaid From: djmermaid Date: December 13th, 2008 09:34 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Hey darlin...

you're right. that's excellent advice which I will do my best to follow.

HUGS back to you! hey BTW I want to introduce you to some friends of mine who live up in your neck of the woods... they're really great folks. look out for an email from me soon.
silverfae From: silverfae Date: December 13th, 2008 08:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
Start with one little ornament. It'll look so lonely and forlorn that you'll have to put up another to keep it company..
and then just let your obsessive personality take over and soon you'll wonder what took you so long to get in the mood to do the tree. :0

and hugs... lotsa hugs your way!
djmermaid From: djmermaid Date: December 13th, 2008 09:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
yeah... the thing is, we have to assemble the "tree" first... and I can't really do it myself. so, we'll see. I do have a naked photo of Bettie Page wearing a santa hat and decorating a tree on the fridge so that's a start (it'll go on the "tree" if we do manage to set it up... it's made of those wire shelves and it's a non-trivial task). but we always have pix of absent friends on it, so I'll move Ms Page over if we do it.

thanks for the hugs! always appreciated.
9 smooches or Gimme Some Love!