oh god, it's 12/12 again. I did pretty well for most of the day, but there's just no getting past the knowing that this was the day Allison died. it didn't help that when I posted about this elsewhere, someone saw fit to msg me offlist to tell me that "people" still think it was intentional. maybe they know better than the coroner, maybe not. *I* don't think she'd have done it purposefully without leaving a note. but the point is that none of us are ever gonna know. no one can claim some sort of window into knowing for sure. and it's really hurtful to keep hearing about it!

why does december have to suck so bad? I started off with a good attitude, really I did. we haven't put up our "tree" yet and personally I just don't really feel like bothering with it... although, it's also kinda even worse without it. I don't know. I miss it, but I don't know if I can do it.

Tags: allison, holidays, meh
I'm feeling: forlorn