how I miss her still.
not a day goes by.
last weekend I flew out to the midwest, to see my lil' sis get married. I offered to do her makeup, and although (or maybe because) she is a classic tomboy, she was delighted. I sent her off to buy a light foundation in the correct shade from a local makeup counter. well, she made some makeup artist very happy - she purchased not only the base, but also blush, eyeshadow, and powder, and even some pro brushes!
I have Allison's makeup artist toolbelt, and was proud to wear it while doing Beth's wedding makeup (I usually use it for my sewing tools, although this is not the first time I've used it for makeup brushes, as it was originally intended.) I concentrated on making her makeup light, but effective: pretty, subtle - with all her cute freckles still showing through!
She was happy and it was good. I do love my lil' sisters (twins!)
and, not a day goes by that I don't miss my sweet Allison. I truly do wish that I didn't have to have her makeup belt.
but, since things are as they are, I certainly treasure it dearly.
and, I am also going forward with my life, my love, my business/art, etc.
I know if she was still here she would encourage my on my path. I also know - for sure - that whatever may have happened, it was never her intent to hurt ANY of those of us who love her.
yes, my spirit was deeply crushed by what happened (and I know I am not the only one) but, ultimately, it was not about me - or any of us.
so, I am doing my best to let go of the pain, anger and sadness, so that the beauty and joy (and there is SO MUCH!) can once again come to the forefront!