red-headed stepchild in the house of love (djmermaid) wrote,
red-headed stepchild in the house of love
djmermaid

  • Mood:

living to tell the tale

so, like I said, it's been strange days lately.

today was the first day of spring, as far as I'm concerned. by that I mean that it was the first day that it felt really good to drive around with the windows down, in a tshirt, capris, crocs and no socks, with the disco cranked! aww yeah.

I just wish Allison was around to enjoy it.

of course, this is not the first time I've wished that... the hot choccy party comes to mind, for one thing. there have been other times too.

but somehow it really seemed like if she could have just made it to today that it all would have been ok. the season has truly turned, winter is behind us. like that.

but, of course, as anyone who has been paying the slightest bit of attention is aware (and probably sick of hearing) that ain't never going to happen. homegirl is gone, and all we have left are memories, photos, and a few mementos.

:::sigh:::

it still just takes some getting used to.

I'm working on it.

though, of course, I still really miss her.

anywya.

in other news, tonight Jovino took me out to a lovely dinner at La Pinata in Alameda (affectionately known to us as "La P".) we went at prime time, so we had to wait for a table. while hanging out in their rather crowded hallway, we talked to a nice couple who had three (very energetic) children. (though the middle child was on the shy/quiet side.) now, I have no illusions whatsoever about what it takes to raise children, having been drafted as an involuntary au pair by my father and stepmother, back in the '70s. (when I was in 7th grade, they had twins, already having a 4 year old. it was simultaneously as bad as it sounds, unimaginably rewarding, and a learning experience like nobody's business!) one of the things I learned was how much work it is to raise kids, and that I don't want to try that again! (ok, that's two things.)

still, it's been a while, and it's a different experience having it right in your face after so much time.

it was crazy - like if Bruce and Ninjai had a little brother, and all three of them were going out to eat with us. exhausting!

it kinda got me wondering what the deal is with people choosing to have multiple children. I'm probably gonna offend some of my friends here, but I have to say that it seems to me that it's nearly universal that the older child is happy and fine, until younger siblings come along (even when they are not drafted into a childcare role as I was) and then their world is turned around and like as not they become unhappy, competitive, etc. I have seen it again and again.

I have to wonder what is the motivation here? having one kid is hard enough. why upset the balance with a second, third, etc? it's not as if humans are in danger of extinction! (on this tip I have to say, respect to folks like the Jolie-Pitts who adopt, as they are at least doing their best to help out existing kids who need it rather than bringing more and more beings into our overcrowded world. that's kinda like getting rescue cats from the pound, in that if you didn't experience being the Only One, then getting new siblings isn't going to shatter your world because where you came from was worse than where you are right now.)

like I said, I'm sure this train of thought will offend some. then again, this is my blog and that's just how I see it. now, I'm definitely not saying what anyone should or should not do.

my friends have great kids, and I truly love and care about them. I just wonder if I am the only one who sees the toll it takes on the older kids, to have their world shaken up so completely, while they are still pretty young, without some of the skills necessary to deal with such a radical restructuring of reality (not to mention the parents, who struggle with expenses etc trying to take the best possible care of everyone.) So... what's the payoff? Maybe I'm missing something.

ANYway, enough of that.

I'm just about to turn in, having finished pulling CDs for a DJ gig tomorrow. more on that later. I'm really looking forward to this one - it should be an excellent party.

I just wish my homegirl was here to enjoy it.

'night
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  • 11 comments

  • To Absent Friends

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