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adventures of a red-headed stepchild in the house of love
mermaid on the mic
 went to a "let's watch a couple of the movies nominated for oscars" party last night.  since scary movies give me bad dreams, I decided to call ahead to ask what they were going to screen (I'm not leaving the house if its the hurt locker or something like that - I know that was last year, I'm just sayin').  so they told me they were going to see a film about ballet dancers and that facebook movie.  cool!

so. black swan.  if you want to see this movie, don't read on.  I don't give all that many spoilers, but I do pan the shit out of it.




ok, so I have never seen such misogynistic *lighting* or cinematography in a film before.  I mean, you'd think, Natalie Portman and Winona Ryder in a movie about dancers: what could possibly go wrong?!  

well, turns out it is by the requiem for a dream guy.  it was fucking bleak.  it's like Showgirls, but two whole hours of the rape scene, and *nothing* else.  no highlights, no relief.  even when good things happen to the protagonist, it makes her barf (well, she was probably going to do that anyway) and also scratch herself.  and it just gets worse and worse and worse and worse.  and worse.

why the fuck do people who are that negative even bother to get out of bed in the morning, much less go to the trouble of making movies to make the rest of us as miserable as they are?!  I could not wait for it to be over.  

and, it had a lot of blood for a "dance film".  like really, a LOT.  it was more like a slasher film with chicks.  (really skinny chicks.)  also, that guy does not actually understand women and you can totally tell.  I would not date him if he were the last person on earth.  

oh, and really, a nail file!?!  cliche, anyone?!?  AND he felt the need to repeat everything over and over and over and over and OVER AND OVER AND OVER.  

D-

(and that is D MINUS, not a broken emoticon, yo)

what does he think we are, a bunch of drunks?

well I tell ya what.  I came up with a black swan drinking game: take a drink any time something triggering or depressing happens, or you see blood, or ribs, or when they make a point they have already made more than once.  or if you see that chick's back tattoo.  it'll make the movie MUCH more tolerable, I promise!

ETA: if you miss a drink, you have to clip your nails!  and if you see two triggering things in less than a minute, you have to throw up your drink because alcohol is so caloric!  tip o' the shotglass to Gwen P for those!

eating disorder humor: it's what's for breakfast!

but, yeah.  seriously the most depressing thing I've seen in a long time.  the company of friends (and the booze) made it tolerable (barely).  had I been in a theater, I'd have walked out.

so then we watched the social networking film which was funny, and made Zoidberg look like an ass (as promised) but at that point my heart just wasn't in it. B?

I'm not really seeing oscar material in either one of these (and I'm not sure what else was even nominated) but considering the Wrestler was nommed last year, I don't hold out a lot of hope (it was also hackneyed, cliche'd, predictable and unrealistic - kind of like black swan with wrestlers, except that there were actually a few pleasant moments, and they used flattering lighting on the actresses).

oh and the reason for the title is that Balanchine is responsible for bringing bulimia to the dance world.  fucker.

I'm feeling: annoyed meh

13 smooches or Gimme Some Love!
so, back in the '80s, I met this amazing guy.  we moved in together, and eventually got married.  

no, he wasn't gay, although I did have a (still much beloved) gay bf, before that.  we were married for 14 years, and together for a few years before.  eventually we grew apart and decided to go our separate ways.  (awesomely, we're still friends!)

after this experience, I decided that I was too modern (or something) for the concept of marriage.  nobody owns me!  it's not necessary!  etc.

a few years later came the Valentine's Day weddings of the same sex couples in SF.  I think it is ridiculously obvious that everyone should have equal rights (I support gays in the military too, even though I myself would never join) so of course I was totally supportive and thrilled!  (the link is to a photo gallery I shot of some of the happy couples on the steps of city hall on that amazing day in 2004.)  going back through it has brought tears to my eyes.  we WILL nail this!

anyway, the equality angle got me really thinking in a serious way about the whole concept of marriage and what it all meant, and eventually I gained new perspectives on why anyone would want to get married in the first place.

and now, I am getting married, to my beloved partner Jovino.

why?  in some significant part, it is because of the struggle for same-sex marriage.

so, don't you try to tell ME that same-sex marriage is in any way detrimental or deleterious to opposite-sex marriage!  (I suppose I ought to disclose here that I'm actually bi, although it hardly matters.  these days, I'm a one-man woman. yeah, I know, whoda thunk it?)

I also want to say that I do feel guilt for doing this while the struggle for marriage equality continues.  all I can say is that I will continue to fight and that I know we will win this one.

I hope you are warm and dry!

love,

- M

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I'm feeling: loved loved

7 smooches or Gimme Some Love!

M with a raiderette
Originally uploaded by jovino
heading home from the 11th annual Oakland Children's Holiday Parade today, we happened to share a traincar with some Raiderettes, one of whom kindly posed for photos with us.

I hella <3 Oakland!

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Gimme Some Love!
 so my life right now is work, planning the wedding and trying to keep on top of the rest of everything.  wheeee!

work stuff is going great.  we are in a phase of expansion and many good things are in process.  we're rolling out new stuff soon!  watch this space!

I'm also really excited about our new program to help animal charities from jammies purchases! not sure if I have posted about this here, but each critter will benefit a particular species-specific program.  I have been researching various charities and we are planning to roll this out at the start of the new year.  although if I have my way the sharks will get a little extra boost.  the original impetus to do this came from doing online research for our SHARK! jammies.  I think sharks are super cool and was excited to do the research.  what I learned about how real sharks are treated in the real world was a big shock - not cool at ALL.  I decided that, small as we are, we NEED to do something about this.  so we are going to make a donation to a species-specific charity each time we sell a set of jammies.  stay tuned for more news on this!  because I want to benefit the particular species (instead of just giving it all to a general group) it is taking some time to research and select the charities.  we are VERY excited about this!

overall, things are good.  the cats continue to be a source of joy and comfort.  Bruce frequently tucks me in at night and purrs me to sleep.  Ninji is as sweet and loving as ever and is the best with the other kittehs.  I love them both so much!  hooray for Carole (and Toni's Kitty Rescue of SF - one of our charities!) for saving their sweet lives and bringing them to me.  

in other news, I've been working on the wedsite.  big thanks to my friend HunnyDu for tipping me to the free site place!  there is a line around the block of people waiting to fleece us.  it's insane!!!  fortunately we're too old and wiley for 'em so it isn't going to happen.  ;-)

I'm so excited about this!  the best part is that we're doing what *we* want to do, so we can drop all the extraneous stuff and focus on what is important.  it's also super cool that we can do it at an event that has space for more folks than we'd be able to include otherwise.  add to that the informal/freaky/festive vibe of the event - it's perfect for us!

thanksgiving looms, and with it, the weekend.  we're holding a brunch on saturday to hang out with friends and nibble on leftovers.  if you need the address, ping me!

I'm feeling: happy happy

Gimme Some Love!

Brides of March 2007
Originally uploaded by Blazenhoff
I mean, right?!
;-)

lots of love to my good friend Rusty, who took this photo at Brides of March 2007, and who is currently living her dream of starting her own business!

when this first went up on flickr, a few friends thought we hadn't invited them to the wedding. that was not the case! now, we really are getting married, so send your address so we can send you an invitation.

thank you Rusty for the great photo!

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I'm feeling: happy happy

4 smooches or Gimme Some Love!
ok, so who has an awesome (or even good) mac client?  how about one for droid (if it's even worth it)?  I miss this place!  did you miss me?!  ;-)

I'm embarrassed to admit that I've been spending wasting time on failbook instead of writing real posts here.  it's funny, twitter never did it for me, but a multimedia version of twitter (with just about everyone you've ever met on it) manages to capture my attention.  partly, because it is easy.  but besides the fact that the medium encourages shallow communications (not really writing), looking up old stuff on fb is a huge PITA, and anyway, those guys are just evil (although I do not participate in f'apps - my special name for failbook apps).

so recently I was inspired to come here and look at my old posts (to try to figure out some dates) and it really made me miss the longer, more introspective journalling.  so, I guess I'm back.  hi!

biz is good - bizzy!  we have a new sewing house which is making life wonderful!  they do a great job!  we managed to roll out two different batches of jammies last month and have another coming soon!  looking back over older entries, it is amazing to see how far we have come.

wedding planning is coming along.  I really need to get the "save the date" emails out so I can collect addresses and get people to put it on their calendars.  already learned that one of my favorite chick friends cannot be there.  such a bummer, but what can I do?  nothing!  there will be date conflicts at any time, and this is going to be when it is going to be, and hopefully everything will fall into place.  I just can't worry about it!  the dye is cast.

which is actually really rad.  it makes it easy!  I know I am doing the right thing, and I am so not stressed over the logistics.  we want to keep it super simple (and cannot afford to do otherwise anyway).  reading some of the alterna-bride sites has been a real eye opener!  I'm seeing the "bridezilla" concept as reflecting on the wedding industry as a whole, not just the insanely demanding brides but those who create the insane demands in the first place.  so I should be looking into teeth whitening now?  really?  

as a 44 year old former postmodernist, it is actually pretty funny *reading* this stuff.

a couple nights ago, my stepmom somehow accidentally called Jovino on skype, and he and I talked with her and my dad for half an hour or so.  it was really fun!  I'm enjoying getting in touch with people, it's a nice benefit of this whole project.

people keep asking if we are going to get married in jammies.  you will have to wait and see!  I can tell you this much: it's not going to be at furcon.  LOL!  (that is the #2 question we are getting.  heh, maybe we need to write up a FAQ!)

anyway!  this is the main thing that runs through my hed when I can't sleep, well this and the ever present biz stuff.  overall though I have to say that this is a pretty awesome time to be me.

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I'm feeling: happy happy

5 smooches or Gimme Some Love!
 these are strange days, indeed!

we just ran out of raccoons (already)!  however, bears are on the way.  we are starting to make bigger batches and we sell out anyway!

but it's sunday, and I'm not supposed to be working.  instead I'll natter about wedding stuff.  I've been poking around on sites like indiebride and it is AMAZING what I am reading, even on these sites that are supposed to be for people who consider themselves unconventional.

there was this whole long letter from this chick who was miffed that some (future) rellie or other was asking for an extra "save the date" magnet for an adult child living at home.  she didn't want to send one (even though she admitted having extra) because "surely they only have one refrigerator" and went on to worry that they would also want two invitations when "they're expensive".  I mean, really!  send them another goddamn magnet and feel happy you have the luxury of sending magnets in the first place - not to mention that you are getting married and who even cares about the magnets?!  no wonder people call "bridezilla!"  although I also think it gets flung about a lot (mostly because it is such a funny coining) even when it isn't warranted.

I am actually really enjoying the planning so far, mostly because we are keeping it minimal and we both agree on what is important.

I do promise not to turn this into a 24/7 wedding blog!  I just have to roll my eyes about some of this stuff.  and feel grateful that my reality is different.

for the record, I am also VERY cognizant that this thing that I am doing, which I want so deeply and which means so much to me, is not an option for those with same sex partners.  I am NOT ok with this, and I am going to continue to fight to change it!  for the record!
4 smooches or Gimme Some Love!
 I know I haven't updated in a while.  I really need to get set up with a mac client - got a recommendation?


there is big news in little Bunnyville: we are getting married!
there are not a lot of concrete plans yet although we are thinking this spring. 
I am over the MOON excited! of COURSE!

I am so excited I hardly know what to say!  so, to quote Jovino:
"After 7-odd years (some more odd than others) we have finally agreed upon getting our funny bunny asses hitched.
The proposal wasn't so much "get down on your knee and propose your love," it was done more our style... through a deep and meaningful conversation that sprouted off of another conversation and we mutually agreed that this is something that we want to do and are finally ready to make it happen.
Dates and details are not set, but they will be as soon as we can figure out how to gather our beloved freak families together along with the families that we grew up with all in one awesome location."

squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

I'm feeling: ecstatic ecstatic

45 smooches or Gimme Some Love!

Allison - bunnylove
Originally uploaded by djmermaid
this my favorite photo.

"someday... we'll be together. someday... some time in the future..."




oh BTW...
this was taken at Hooters SF, on the 4th of July.
I'm in Jovino's bunny costume.
we're ambushing the Santas.




the whole thing was Allison's idea.

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I'm feeling: content reminiscing

Gimme Some Love!
this is the photo we were talking about at the party. Allison, at the hot springs near the playa. gorgeous!

and, my best friend. oh, how I miss her.

<3

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2 smooches or Gimme Some Love!