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ohmyfuckinggodno - adventures of a red-headed stepchild in the house of love
mermaid on the mic
djmermaid
djmermaid
ohmyfuckinggodno
i just learned that a friend of mine is dead, /maybe/ by her own hand. i am so at loose ends. i dont know what to do. i keeo thinging maybe it isnt true, but i heard from someone reliable and there is no reason to make this up.

her friends are meeting in sf adn i cant deide if I want to go there or not. i just dont konw. i feel sick, but i knwo its in my head.

fuck!

why?

what happened?

how did we fail her?

in the back of my mind i am also thinking of other friedsnm, who recentlky received similar bad news about another friend of theirs - not someone i know, but somoen who meant a lot to them.

i'm supposed to br working on stuff for a sale this sunday and i am ujst in shock and dont know what to do with myself.

it;'s trite, but: why/ why? why?
14 smooches or Gimme Some Love!
Comments
thecatsmeowww From: thecatsmeowww Date: December 13th, 2006 03:25 am (UTC) (Link)
OMG!!! I am SO Sorry, hun!! HUGS!!!
expanding_x_man From: expanding_x_man Date: December 13th, 2006 03:32 am (UTC) (Link)
I am so sorry to hear this. Sending out hugs, and prayers and -- well, all those things --
tawnygnosis From: tawnygnosis Date: December 13th, 2006 03:35 am (UTC) (Link)
Can you let me know who it was? I'm concerned.
whipsnkisses From: whipsnkisses Date: December 13th, 2006 04:13 am (UTC) (Link)
i'm in terrible shock myself right now... not sure what to say..

*hugs*
From: daubentonia Date: December 13th, 2006 04:28 am (UTC) (Link)
Hey there.

I know that this really really hurts but I need to say first that you did not fail her. That's a really normal thing to feel, and I totally understand it, but it wasn't your fault, not even a little bit.

Strong emotions, sadness, all that, it's just so hard to understand, especially when someone decides that they don't belong in this world anymore. No one knows what's going on in anyone else's head.

It's normal to go through feelings like "If only I'd...", "I should have...", "I could have..." and being with friends is a really great way to learn that you're not alone with those feelings. I highly recommend it.

:)

Take care, and write any time if you wanna talk, even if we don't know eachother that well, when stuff gets real, it's always nice to know there's someone to talk to.

jiri (daubentonia)

jeep_qirl From: jeep_qirl Date: December 13th, 2006 04:34 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. <3
(Deleted comment)
silverfae From: silverfae Date: December 13th, 2006 05:38 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm so sorry, baby, it's a horrible time of year for that...as if any other time were better. Gawd, we say the stupidest things around death.

is there a suicide survivor meeting anywhere close? If so,..go and talk. Yes, to strangers. It does help.

and again...
big hugs.
tahari From: tahari Date: December 13th, 2006 06:19 am (UTC) (Link)

shit

I read your post first, and then Heathen posted some pictures. I'd hung out with her at various Diox-crowd events and liked her. Is this snallison? I know I know snallison in real life from that crowd, but since she never posts photos, I'm not sure which one she is.
From: cinnamon_grrrl Date: December 13th, 2006 07:56 am (UTC) (Link)
Sorry about your friend :(
sabotlours From: sabotlours Date: December 13th, 2006 03:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
*hugs*
penguingrrl From: penguingrrl Date: December 13th, 2006 04:37 pm (UTC) (Link)
i dont know what to say but *hugs*
idiva From: idiva Date: December 13th, 2006 05:04 pm (UTC) (Link)
i'm sorry too. it just sucks.
porsupah From: porsupah Date: December 16th, 2006 05:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm sorry not to have replied to this sooner, but I've only just started reading LJ again today. Whether her departure was intentional or not, the pain is as severe, the horrid vacuum of utter loss.. all we remaining can do is try to build on the memories, the ways their lives touched us and helped us become who we are, and in that way, be able to keep part of them immortal.
14 smooches or Gimme Some Love!