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fuck you, George Balanchine - adventures of a red-headed stepchild in the house of love
mermaid on the mic
djmermaid
djmermaid
fuck you, George Balanchine
 went to a "let's watch a couple of the movies nominated for oscars" party last night.  since scary movies give me bad dreams, I decided to call ahead to ask what they were going to screen (I'm not leaving the house if its the hurt locker or something like that - I know that was last year, I'm just sayin').  so they told me they were going to see a film about ballet dancers and that facebook movie.  cool!

so. black swan.  if you want to see this movie, don't read on.  I don't give all that many spoilers, but I do pan the shit out of it.




ok, so I have never seen such misogynistic *lighting* or cinematography in a film before.  I mean, you'd think, Natalie Portman and Winona Ryder in a movie about dancers: what could possibly go wrong?!  

well, turns out it is by the requiem for a dream guy.  it was fucking bleak.  it's like Showgirls, but two whole hours of the rape scene, and *nothing* else.  no highlights, no relief.  even when good things happen to the protagonist, it makes her barf (well, she was probably going to do that anyway) and also scratch herself.  and it just gets worse and worse and worse and worse.  and worse.

why the fuck do people who are that negative even bother to get out of bed in the morning, much less go to the trouble of making movies to make the rest of us as miserable as they are?!  I could not wait for it to be over.  

and, it had a lot of blood for a "dance film".  like really, a LOT.  it was more like a slasher film with chicks.  (really skinny chicks.)  also, that guy does not actually understand women and you can totally tell.  I would not date him if he were the last person on earth.  

oh, and really, a nail file!?!  cliche, anyone?!?  AND he felt the need to repeat everything over and over and over and over and OVER AND OVER AND OVER.  

D-

(and that is D MINUS, not a broken emoticon, yo)

what does he think we are, a bunch of drunks?

well I tell ya what.  I came up with a black swan drinking game: take a drink any time something triggering or depressing happens, or you see blood, or ribs, or when they make a point they have already made more than once.  or if you see that chick's back tattoo.  it'll make the movie MUCH more tolerable, I promise!

ETA: if you miss a drink, you have to clip your nails!  and if you see two triggering things in less than a minute, you have to throw up your drink because alcohol is so caloric!  tip o' the shotglass to Gwen P for those!

eating disorder humor: it's what's for breakfast!

but, yeah.  seriously the most depressing thing I've seen in a long time.  the company of friends (and the booze) made it tolerable (barely).  had I been in a theater, I'd have walked out.

so then we watched the social networking film which was funny, and made Zoidberg look like an ass (as promised) but at that point my heart just wasn't in it. B?

I'm not really seeing oscar material in either one of these (and I'm not sure what else was even nominated) but considering the Wrestler was nommed last year, I don't hold out a lot of hope (it was also hackneyed, cliche'd, predictable and unrealistic - kind of like black swan with wrestlers, except that there were actually a few pleasant moments, and they used flattering lighting on the actresses).

oh and the reason for the title is that Balanchine is responsible for bringing bulimia to the dance world.  fucker.

I'm feeling: annoyed meh

13 smooches or Gimme Some Love!
Comments
graham14 From: graham14 Date: December 21st, 2010 06:29 pm (UTC) (Link)
What's interesting is that I've met Darren Aronofsky and he's actually a pretty pleasant and, dare I say, happy guy. I think he makes these depressing movies in order to deal with whatever his demons are. Oh, and in case you thought he hates woman only, watch "The Wrestler", he's not crazy about the fellas either.
djmermaid From: djmermaid Date: December 21st, 2010 06:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
well... I don't think he understands women at all. the women in the wrestler were all cardboard.

what offended me most, more than the shitty lighting, more than the ribs and the blood, was the fact that he had to BLUDGEON us over and over and over with every single freakin' point. ORLY? she needs more PASSION?!


personally, I would rather see the star wars holiday special (again). :-/
djmermaid From: djmermaid Date: December 21st, 2010 08:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
also: *I* don't work our my "demons" by inflicting them on others. at least, not if I can help it. ;-)

I'm just saying. this film was a poor choice for me, and had I know more, I'd have likely skipped it. so, some of my critique comes from a place of disdain for the manipulativeness of all these dark films: sure, it affected me, but the easiest way to affect someone is with negativity. AND it wasn't even good filmmaking.
bearfairie From: bearfairie Date: December 21st, 2010 06:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh yuck! That sounds wretched! :P
djmermaid From: djmermaid Date: December 21st, 2010 06:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
it was! do not recommend!

nice icon BTW. ;-) I know someone who has one of those.
svashtar From: svashtar Date: December 21st, 2010 06:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
LOL at Zoidberg.

I hated Requiem for a Dream. Awful, awful movie. Just terrible. Anything that emulates it, or resembles that movie at all, must be burned.
djmermaid From: djmermaid Date: December 21st, 2010 07:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
thank you. that is his new name over here in bunnyland. ;-)

and yes, movie was awful, and not even good filmmaking (which is the first excuse they trot out for negative shit - but even if it were good filmmaking, negative shit is the easiest way to get a reaction, so...)

hey, you coming to FC this year?
svashtar From: svashtar Date: December 21st, 2010 07:22 pm (UTC) (Link)
Word. See latest post on my lj :)

Mostly gonna be there for socializing, but gotta make up my mind about something.
djmermaid From: djmermaid Date: December 21st, 2010 08:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
cool beans! we will be there starting wednesday (we cannot fit everything we need into one van load, and it is actually less expensive to get an extra night in the hotel and make two trips than it would be to rent a truck, which I couldn't drive anyway). if there is a way we can halp out, let me know. will be great to see you!
(Deleted comment)
tastyeagle From: tastyeagle Date: December 21st, 2010 11:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
I haven't seen Black Swan. I'll add it to my Netflix list and see it when it comes out on DVD.

The director is the ultimate in hit and miss for me. I walked out on Requiem for a Dream. There's like 3 movies ever I've refused to watch all the way through. I can't remember the others offhand.

The Fountain, however, is one of my top 10 favorite movies. Can you square that circle for me?

Pi...well, I 'watched' Pi, but I honestly did not have enough brain power to concentrate on what was going on. I remember mostly being WTF through most of it.
djmermaid From: djmermaid Date: December 22nd, 2010 02:38 am (UTC) (Link)
oh, had I had *any* idea who this was, I'd have skipped it. but, you don't know til you find out (which reminds me of the time I saw the Brown Bunny because of the title... heh). I thought this one was pretty rinky-dinky, so if you want to see it, netflix is defo the way to go.

hey, see you in a few weeks! ;-D
jessicaberlin From: jessicaberlin Date: December 29th, 2010 10:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
You're crackin' me up.

I haven't seen it but thanks for the review. Sounds godawful.

I can't stand whinyface Portman anyhow. Only movie she was ok in was V for Vendetta. She totally killed Star Wars for me.
13 smooches or Gimme Some Love!